


Those who have so much as contemplated the possibility of creeping up to one’s enemy with two Bic lighters, pressing simultaneously the butane switches— one into each nostril— and so gassing him to death

by livrelibre



Series: After Elimination Dance (an intermission) [30]
Category: The Middleman (TV)
Genre: Character of Color, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-10
Updated: 2010-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 23:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livrelibre/pseuds/livrelibre





	Those who have so much as contemplated the possibility of creeping up to one’s enemy with two Bic lighters, pressing simultaneously the butane switches— one into each nostril— and so gassing him to death

Wendy was almost in position. The Zzzithraz was still busy monologuing at the boss; judging by the usual time these things took it was just about at “sheer elegance in its simplicity.” She leaped out and hooked her arms around its neck (ignoring the slime was second nature now) and flicked both Bic directly under what she hoped was its nose as it drew in a breath to begin the maniacal laugh (TM). Ten seconds later, she picked herself out of the pool (and chunks, ew) of slime that was all that was left of the Zzzithraz after it blew up.

The boss, of course, was pristine, having thrown himself behind the retaining column just as Wendy struck. He brushed imaginary slime off his Middle uniform anyway as he came forward to give her a hand up.

“Good work, Dubby. You’d think a methane-based species would be a little more careful about blocking all holes in its environmental suit. Sure, a Zzzithraz has got to go when it’s got to go but that’s no excuse for carelessness or letting everything hang out in the breeze like that where a stray flame could catch it.”

Wendy fruitlessly tried to get excess slime (and really, wasn’t any slime excess?) out of her hair. “You mean that wasn’t its nose?”

“No, Dubby, the Zzzithraz have a digestive system in opposition to human ones and--”

Wendy held up a hand. “Stop. I don’t want to know and I think we’re one head up its ass joke away from TMI.”


End file.
